Draco Malfoy and the Confectionery Conundrum
by Miss M of Q
Summary: Harry Potter is the Boy-Who-Lived to ruin everything he touches - including Draco Malfoy's all-time favorite candy. Post-DH. One-shot.


Draco Malfoy loved Chocolate Frogs. Of all the confectioneries the wizarding world had to offer, it was the best - and Draco Malfoy deserved no less.

So when it was finally announced that three new figures will be added to the Chocolate Frog Cards collectibles, Draco did the most logical course of action, that is, he ordered ten boxes in advance.

At the age of eighteen and a half, Draco took immense pride in owning every Chocolate Frog Card there ever was. Partial credit belonged to his father, of course, who donated his small childhood collection to Draco, but the task of expanding, nurturing it, and maintaining it in mint condition was all his. And now, after the latest wizarding war, it remained only one of three existing complete collections in Britain. Naturally, it made full sense for him to be among the first to own the newest Chocolate Frog Cards.

Ages had passed since a new figure was featured. Draco's father told him that when new people are added to the cards, it is never announced who it is going to be. The card makers wanted to build up anticipation, guaranteeing a good profit as early as day one of sales.

The Chocolate Frogs arrived shortly after breakfast as Draco was shut up in his room, reorganizing his card collection. Ripping the box open, he proceeded to tear greedily at the first Chocolate Frog within reach. He could not be bothered to take a bite out of his chocolate frog, which jumped out as soon as it was able. Patience never was one of his strong suits. His heart thumped hard against his chest as he finally freed the card. Turning it over in his hand, he saw the newest face on his collection —

His face fell.

The stupid face of Harry James Potter smirked at him from the tiny card on his palm.

"NOOOO!"

He grabbed the next one and tore at it feverishly, his breathing growing heavier by the minute - his breath hitched at the sight of another Potter card. "Oh Merlin, no."

Third time's the charm, he thought frantically as he took his chance with another Frog. Taking a deep breath, he turned the card -

Yes! NOT POTTER! -

But - hang on...he'd know that stupid hair anywhere...

Groaning, he recognized the name Hermione Jean Granger as it shone at him from the top of the card. She looked just as smug as he remembered. Filthy Mudblood.

It was no use. He could tell where this was going and he did not like it one bit. His earlier excitement had quickly dissipated into anger, and he suddenly found himself surrounded by rubbish he no longer cared for. Indiscriminately, he began shredding boxes and wrappers until his arms grew weary.

"Draco, is everything alright?"

His mother had stuck her head through the small opening of his door.

Her eyes landed instead on the box of Chocolate Frogs that had been pushed off the bed, it's contents splayed onto the carpet.

"What happened, Draco?" she said worriedly, crossing the room in three long strides, careful not to the step on any frogs.

She found her son in the middle of his bed, a dozen or so Chocolate Frogs leaping happily off of his sheets. Their wrappings had been torn hastily; the Chocolate Frog Cards that came with them were thrown into the center of the mess, forming a messy pile.

"Are those the new ones?" she asked interestedly as she picked one up.

He nodded slowly, a mixture of horror and disgust marring his long, pale face.

"Why, what's wrong with them?"

Narcissa balked as she saw the name on the card: Ronald Bilius Weasley. She dropped it immediately, as though it had offended her.

"They made one for each of _them_ ," said Draco bitterly.

"Oh, Draco," Narcissa said sympathetically. "Why don't we get rid of all these then." She motioned at the mess he'd made, her nose wrinkled.

He sighed. It was such a waste but he could not stomach the sight of it any longer.

As Narcissa raised her wand to Scourgify the mess, Draco stopped her.

"Mother, wait!"

"What is it now, Draco?" she said impatiently. She hated being interrupted.

"I'll still need these for my collection," he said stiffly as he took one of each of the new cards.

Narcissa suppressed the urge to roll her eyes. What was it with Malfoy men and their card collections?

"Alright, mother. I'm done."

Within seconds, Narcissa had vanished the entire chocolatey mess.

"I can't believe you're still going to put those cards up," she told him disprovingly.

"A collection is only as good as it is complete, Mother," he replied. "Besides, think of how much this will be worth in a few years!"

Narcissa looked at the entirety of his son's collection. She will never admit it to him, but when taken on the whole, it really was quite impressive. Stupid, yes, but impressive.

"Fine. Do what you want with it, Draco," she said dismissively. "I'll be in the sitting room if you need me."

"Thank you, Mother."

Begrudgingly, Draco placed his three new Chocolate Cards along with the rest. He looked at his newly updated collection and was not surprised when for the first time, it failed to elicit in him a feeling of pride. Somehow it now felt tacky and unrefined...and for that he blamed Potter - the Boy-Who-Lived to ruin everything he touches!

He made a mental note to write a strongly-worded letter to the Chocolate Frog Company regarding their recent poor taste in wizards and witches. But first, he wanted a word with his father. _Wait til Father hears about this..._

 _ **A/N:** Reviews are highly appreciated!_


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